Words of A Woman

Only If

2011-02-17T14:29:00.000-08:00

If I could
Only if I could
I'd love you to no ends
I'd never leave your side
I'd protect you from all pain
You and Me...we'd be
We would I would
Only if I could
But I can't
Cause you aint...

ME MYSELF & I

2011-02-04T03:17:00.000-08:00

ALONE....ALL ALONE

JUST ME MYSELF AND I

ALONE WITH MY THOUGHTS

AND I CRY

FOR ME

FOR MYSELF &

MOSTLY FOR I

MILLION DOLLAR GIRL

2010-02-15T15:00:00.000-08:00

So as you all know I....yes I....was the winner of the Million Dollar Girl contest on twitter...when I first found out that I won I admit I was super nervous and super excited cause nothing like this EVER happens to me...Im just a normal 24 year old...college degree, no kids, in grad school, and working full-time. I have been a huge huge huge fan of Trina since....FOREVER!!!!! First off, I was super pissed because my flight got delayed...but hell what could I do about the weather??? All I knew was I was ready to see Da Baddest herself...Ms Trina....I get to Dallas finally and Alex...Trina's executive assistant, comes to get me from the airport...she is gorgeous and sooooooooooo nice....she asked me like 100 times was I nervous and all I could do was say YEAH...VERY....

FAST FORWARD----------->

Im sitting in the hotel lobby...texting on my phone as usual...and I look up and TRINA is walking up to me...I wanted to scream....no words would come out of my mouth...I was literally STAR STRUCK...SHE looked AMAZING...thats an understatement tho...she was everything I imagined she would be and more...bt all I could say was....TRINA...u are TRINA...i love you...lol...I was speechless...we hugged and I cant even begin to explain how wonderful I felt....so we left the hotel and went to the mall....I was walking thru the mall with TRINA....like forreal...we went in GODIVA first and got some chocolate covered strawberries and the whole crew was there whom by the way is some of the most DOWN-TO-EARTH, cool and crazy people you could ever meet in your life....SO I got this cute lil dress and vest courtesy of yours truly MS TRINA...btw I cant wait to wear it....Later that night Trina performed at Club Flow...and she shut that B!tch DOWN...im standing on stage behind her in awe like....DAMN!!!!! SHE IS TRULY DA BADDEST!!!!!!! And of course im tuning all the extra shit out...all i hear is TRINA!!!!! After Club Flow we hit up another club...I sat next to Trina at that club and I talked to her....she is like the most calm, cool, and collective person Ive ever met...This experience has been the best in my life...It gave me a new outlook on life...seeing Trina and meeting her and the MGC family...and I say FAMILY because thats how it feels when you are with them...like you are part of the family...has been one of the greatest experiences of my life and I will NEVER forget it...

BE-ING!

2009-11-03T18:25:00.000-08:00

Its been a minute since Ive visited you!!!
Some say I came to often and that u couldnt get any rest.
So I practiced unselfishness and let you ease your mind.
You have done enough worrying about me...
I cant let u go forever cuz that strips me of my mortality
But I will give you time just as time has given me
To allow the strength of our Father to be made manifest in us!
We accept thy will!
But do know f*a*t*h*e*r
that you are and always will...BE!

To Be Cont...

2009-08-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

Just like the tv shows....this story is to be continued at another time on another day....I wanna tell her story and I know it hurts...who more? Me or her??? TO BE CONTINUED.......................................................................

.....

2009-08-24T18:58:00.000-07:00

Im under the influence.....ENOUGH SAID......

Truth in Words...

2009-08-19T18:07:00.000-07:00

"DEATH LEAVES A HEARTACHE THAT NO ONE CAN HEAL BUT LOVES LEAVES A MEMORY THAT NO ONE CAN STEAL...."

!Men!

2009-08-19T17:58:00.001-07:00

I was on youtube the other day and I ran across a spoken word contest and the guy giving his poem was great....he mentioned that he was dreaming and he was at the spelling bee and he was given the word "father" and he spelled it...M O T H E R....and it got me to thinking...yeah my Mother has always been there for me but im so thankful that I had a Dad that was too...It doesn't take a man to make a baby..but it does take one to step up to the plate and take care of his responsibilities...and thats what makes a MAN...no half-stepping...so I say this to say THANK YOU!!! To all the men who step up and do what they have to do for their children....I was blessed to have a Daddy that took care of me and also a step-dad who took care of me...so to the world...there are good MEN out there...they just go unappreciated....I thank God for the good MEN in my life....I want my husband to be like my Daddy....

Picture This...A Tangeled Web

2009-08-17T16:26:00.001-07:00

Picture This!
A Woman
tangeled in her own web
intoxicated by the way each strand makes her feel while she puffs on her weed that she rarely smokes and she drinks from the half empty half full bottle of vodka as she..
Picture This!
Of these strands that have all at some point felt the same to her she notices three that give her the pain and pleasure she needs....
In these three are very different characteristics that entice her....
She must choose...
Picture This!
The first being known to many by his longetivity in the tangle
a lot of pain, a lot of tears but no matter what there is no time lost between us as we converse on our own level...love remains and the heart of the queen lies in your hand.
Picture This!
The second having to prove that being stuck in the tangle is not by mere chance...that being here is a privlege granted too he...Love not complete but exists between us two...stimulating the organ that reproduces to life...
Picture This!
The third...1st inning head over heels...before hills became the source of pain to remove what blocked happiness...A return to love being made as love making becomes the highlighting factor to change...to change my way of looking at what once was and only see what is...
Picture This!
A choice has to be made....because no one created this web but she...and she cant figure out how to untangle the web...picture this!

Feelings....True?

2009-08-17T15:03:00.000-07:00

I've come to terms with the fact that everything is not going to be as I wish them or as I would like them to be at all times. Sometimes I feel like Im stuck in between a rock and a hard place...like my back is against the wall in every situation. I sometimes feel like I'm fighting a battle that I will never win...I sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders...If I move too fast everything will fall apart but if I move too slow everything will fall apart. I question my decisions and choices everyday...how can I get past that...to the point where I'm not living for the next person but only for myself...Like this race is mine and mine alone and the only person that can cross the finish line first is me. How do I become selfish without becoming selfish??? Wish I could roll all my worries and fears and concerns up and put them in a coke bottle...throw it into the ocean and watch them slowly fade away...Then joy will be forever instead of temporary...and as the waves of the ocean takes the bottle of my insecurities farther and farther away...my tears would cease to exist...and I would be fully content....or would I???

The Sweetest Taboo

2009-07-24T05:38:00.001-07:00

I believe Sade said it best....

If I tell you now

Will you keep on loving me

If I tell you how I feel

Will you keep bringing out the best in me

You give me the sweetest taboo

Too good for me

There's a quiet storm

And it never felt like this before

There's a quiet storm

That is you

There's a quiet storm

And it never felt this hot before

Giving me something that's taboo

AND I LIVE....

I wish I had a Jason...

2009-07-17T13:30:00.000-07:00

...So I could be his Lyric...

M.I.A

2009-07-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

Lilies symbolize that the soul of the departed has received restored innocence after death!

Missing him more and more each day...I don't look at him as being gone...I think he's just Missing In Action!

Rain

2009-07-12T17:29:00.000-07:00

When I was younger I used to love to play in the rain. The sound of the water hitting the pavement as I rain unable to see the path clearly...smile plastered to my face. I had no worries as I ran back and forth...in and out of the rain. No worries about what tomorrow will bring...how i will handle this or handle that...the joy of being a child...Now, I find the rain to be my time travel...I use it to go back to those days when I was just a girl who would walk to the store just for a pickle...I use the rain to remember the days Mama and Daddy took us to the park and I would throw up on the merry-go-round and chase my brothers to the swing sets. I use the rain to drown out my fears and to forget my problems...And when it doesn't rain....I sit in a tub of water and turn on the shower...because it doesnt have to rain outside for me to remember whats inside....

The 1st Step...

2009-07-11T18:54:00.000-07:00

This is a poem that Ive only shared with one person...I usually keep my poetry to myself but I wanna share!!! Im taking the first step in being more open!

Stuck in a Dream....
In the dark
Alone
music as loud as can be
Drowning out my Emotions
Away from the world
In a bubble my bubble
Finding "Piece" of mind
Finding "Peace" for my
Mistakes
Your mistake our mistake
Where do I point the blame
At you for invading my space or
At myself for allowing you in
My heart...you held on to
Was the grip too tight or did I not want you to let go
Happiness transformed into Hate
Pleasure took the place of Pain
Or was it all an illusion
Confusion Regret Remorse
Feeling like my back is against the wall
I conform to meet your needs
Leaving my own behind unattended to
Unselfish to your selfishness
I will come to my senses eventually but for now
I wanna get lost in this moment
Cause in it I find comfort but with you only emptiness
Lights on
Music off
Reality hits......
HARD

No Need For Introductions

2009-07-10T09:18:00.001-07:00

Affection
Devotion
Fondness
Infatuation
Worship
Passion
Romance
Liking
Cherish

No need to introduce yourself,
Im very familiar with you.
I've known you for some time now
Been thru the good and the bad
Happy and the Sad
All with you
All because of you...
You control my desires
Cause me emotional stress
Damage is done to my heart because of you
But who cares...I need you
I hate you
I want you
I can't live without you
You are my breath
My very being is because of you....
No there's no need for Introductions
LOVE...you and I are one
We have so much in common
Coming from the Words Of A Woman!