Feelings....True?

I've come to terms with the fact that everything is not going to be as I wish them or as I would like them to be at all times. Sometimes I feel like Im stuck in between a rock and a hard place...like my back is against the wall in every situation. I sometimes feel like I'm fighting a battle that I will never win...I sometimes feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders...If I move too fast everything will fall apart but if I move too slow everything will fall apart. I question my decisions and choices everyday...how can I get past that...to the point where I'm not living for the next person but only for myself...Like this race is mine and mine alone and the only person that can cross the finish line first is me. How do I become selfish without becoming selfish??? Wish I could roll all my worries and fears and concerns up and put them in a coke bottle...throw it into the ocean and watch them slowly fade away...Then joy will be forever instead of temporary...and as the waves of the ocean takes the bottle of my insecurities farther and farther away...my tears would cease to exist...and I would be fully content....or would I???